My Life

Alot on my mind

Alot to say

Alot of time

to think all day.

I woke up today

felt nervous.

1000 thoughts

on my mind

every single time.

Head is more crowded

than a prison.

My head is a cellblock

and each thought

is a cell.

So narrow, no room

to breathe.

Annoys me like

a kid with a stick

poking me.

Is it misery

As I think suddenly

about the pain

that causes me

an affliction so deep

My faith drowns in

a pool of hate.

Imagine waking up

thinking your car can break

down any moment.

Imagine waking up 5am

on purpose to leave the house

to avoid seeing your parent

Imagine waking up loving

your girlfriend

but regret a relationship

for not having money

in your pocket.

Imagine working 2 jobs

with no days off

and still barely making it.

Imagine waking up

almost damn near 30

and still not independent

compared to your siblings.

Imagine waking up

and addicted to masterbating

because you fear

that you might be lacking

in the sex department

Imagine waking up feeling

disappointed

because you tired of seeing

the same faces.

Imagine waking up

realizing that it’s going

to be a long night of studying

Imagine waking up tired

but can’t take off because

of being broke

and have to make

room in your head to make

plans for your girlfriend.

Imagine waking up

upset with yourself

because you can’t

afford therapy sessions

because insurance

doesn’t cover it.

My body is a rope

and my thoughts

are playing tug of war

with my body.

Peace I get hardily any.

Unforribidden remedies

I seek close distance

but can’t touch.

I realized this in my sleep

when last night I dreamed

I met the former president

“Barack Obama”.

I was at buffalo wild wings

with my sister,

eating wings.

I just happen to look next

to me.

I saw him sitting right next

to me in a booth

with a blue tie matching

his dark blue suit

and black alligator shoes.

He was eating with his

wife “Michelle”.

Barack had a cheeseburger

on his plate.

Then I looked at his face.

I was astonished because

like why would the most famous

black man be a local

buffalo wild wings.

So I’m staring at him

then he stares back at me.

He extends his hands

and says

“I’m Barack and you are?”

When he said that I was beyond

shocked.

I almost fainted.

I got on my knees

and met eye level with his legs

and hugged it.

Now I don’t exactly remember what happened

next but

Barack did tell me

he was preparing for a speech.

I had a million questions to ask him

but my main question to him was

“In 2008 when you won the election,

Was you nervous, did you have doubts

that you wasn’t going to be a good president?”

I never got an answer because I woke up

from my dream.

The example of my dream is my real life.

When I feel like I get closer to accomplishing something,

my doubts consumes me realizing life is harder

than I imagine

and rejection is more common than accomplishments

All Water Don’t Taste The Same(#PumpkinsPrompts )

I am doing the pumpkins prompt challenge and the topic  I posted a poem on is “water” and I want to give a special shout out to  Irene for creating this challenge and I think its a wonderful and creative idea for bloggers to interact with each other. Check out her blog when you get  chance.

#PumpkinsPrompts

Click on the link above if you want to participate

 

My life leaks
like water out of a pipe.
I cry puddles watching you
exit from my life.
Each tear is symbolic
and the pain in my heart
just can’t stop  it.
Tine wasting
water leaking,
Death occurring
and my heart is broken.
What these four have in common,
they are all consistent.
You wasted my time,
I feel like committing suicide
since my heart is broken
and tears is like a broken pipe
constantly leaking.
I defined you as water,
The liquid that kept me hydrated
but you took my heart
and like a  branch,
just snapped it.
Waking up sweating
and  every day
come closer to becoming
dehydrated.
I drink a  new type
of water bottle
to replace you
but problem is
each water bottle
taste different.

 

Explanation

In this poem, the main theme is heartbreak. I use water leaking out of a pipe as an example because this means leaking emotions, loss of power, and somebody walking out of your life. I cry because I couldn’t handle the pain. The person I was in love with, I compared that person to water and her love kept me hydrated and since she left, I can’t function. So I make a comparison stating that I am  dehydrated which means that I am broken, so in order to heal myself, I make another comparison to a water bottle saying everyday I drink a new water stating all water tasted different. This means that, I am searching for a new soulmate but every person I dealt with after my previous lover, didn’t have the same effect because no two people are like. The more girls I date, the more I miss my previous lover because I will never love no girl like I did with my previous lover. Lesson is, rebounds are a bad idea and you should take time to reflect on the relationship that just ended.

I Have Questions

I Have Questions and I Have More Questions! – Please click and read the questions I left on these blogs.

For those of you that don’t know me, I’m David Hockaday and I have been blogging for a little over year. I have been writing poetry for almost four years and poetry is my passion. I started a blog to express my thoughts on life and the experiences I have been through. I write about all kinds of topics, but my topics I love to write about are deep, dark topics and I will add some links below of my top ten deepest,darkest poems.

Top Ten deep dark poems

10. Heartless and Heartbroken

9. Tired of being the nice guy

8. Do I Perfer Strippers?Women Got Me Fed Up

7. Meaning OF Fear

6. Praying For A Better Future

5. Don’t Give Or Receive

4. The Way The Heart Works

3. This Is A Cold World

2. Where Have You Been?

1. How I Really Feel And I Won’t Lie

I don’t expect you to read all ten, but just pick the one that caught your attention based on the title. Last November I wrote a Who Am I? post and please click and read if you are curious to know more about me. I want to build, connect, and learn from other bloggers. I am a very curious person and my mind is loud and always racing. They say quiet people have the loudest minds. In person I am very silent and shy so I do all my talking through my poetry and I share it on here for everybody to read so it can give the courage for other people to open up. I just want to say, no matter how dark or deep your mind is, never be afraid to express yourself and release any pain, any frustration that bothers you. Keeping things inside with fuck with your mind so poetry is my exercise. We all get lonely and though some of us like being alone, sometimes we need to talk to someone. Now nobody has our back like family and it’s always family first but sometimes its always good to talk to new people as well to pick their brain so that’s why I am writing this post. So below I will list down a few questions that I have been thinking about for the past few days.

1. Women out number men on this planet Why do you think it was God’s intention to have women out number men? Do you think there will be a difference if men out number women?

2. If your daughter was grown and she wanted to go to the dealership for a new car but she never been to the dealership before and she wanted her father to go but the father made excuses does that make him a bad father?

3. Like I knew this woman who was mad with her husband because he would constantly read his sons a bedtime story and sleep in their beds What’s her problem like why was she mad?

4. Is it harder to forgive yourself or somebody else?

5. If your bf can’t dance is that a turn off? If your bf refuse to dance at parties, clubs,weddings etc are u breaking up with him?

6. Can you hate yourself but love somebody else?

7. Can you marry somebody that don’t believe God?

8. Once you child is over 18 but yet so they still live with you, should they still be forced to go to church or should the decision be on their own?

9) What is the appropriate age to talk to your kids about sex

10) Why is lack of communication a common problem in a relationship?

11) Do you need to have a healthy sex life in a marriage?

Out of all these questions, pick one question that either caught your attention or a question that have thought about before and comment below your answer and I will respond regarding my answer to that question. Also please as well if there is a post that you want feedback on, please post a link in my comment section your favorite and most powerful post and I will give my opinion regarding the post

What Is A Talent That You Love To Do?

Poetry is my heart and soul

Being a poet is my ultimate goal

I can view things in any direction.

God blessed me with an imagination

I break down words and dissect them.

I provide lessons and deep questions.

I’m imagining my writing being published.

Life around me is poetic

I can write 2 poems in day

Hell I can write 2 poems at a time.

I just need the space.

I just need the time.

Like a crossword puzzle

the words I will find.

Like a detective digging for clues

to solve a crime.

Dig into my mind

and my pencil is a shovel

as I write.

I want to be the best poet of all time

by writing whats right

and my style is I write

how I feel.

Like wheel of fortunate

each line on paper is blank

and the words I fill

until I completely express how I feel.

Words can kill

and I can slay

but words are uplifting

and I can heal.

I can’t even explain

how I do it.

All I know is I was blessed with a talent.

With pure silence

I find the zone when I’m alone.

close my eyes

like Dorthy for wanting to go back home.

Every situation I bring to light

like a document you can’t see in the dark.

As long as the pencil point is sharp

I will write poetry

until the beat inside my heart stops.

Another Friday Question

As a woman, would you ever date a younger man?

As a man, would you date a older woman?

They say a man reach his sexual peak around 18 and woman reach her sexual peak in her thirties, do you think this is true or do you think this is a myth?

Out of all the lessons learned in life, what was the most important lesson you ever learned?

For those of you that are married or been with the same person for many years, do you think sex is the same person becomes tedious overtime?

We All Break Down

A broken heart is never simplistic

and trying to smile isn’t realistic

Sometimes we break down at random moments.

We try to smile to avoid

embarrassment.

So we hide our true feelings.

We think hiding is healing

but it’s destroying

because instead of letting go

we are holding on

to what made us broken.

We smile now

but eventually tears will

be leaking.

Why Should You Only Impress Yourself

Ask yourself what matters,
You are your own leader. 
You are your own follower
When you look at the mirror,
you are your own competitor,

You are your greatest competition.
In a world that’s non-fiction,
Revamping who you are is your own mission,
Just like the company you work for have their own mission statement demonstrating their values and vision.

Motivating yourself on your own.
No  home court advantage to cheer you on.
Makes it harder to come upon.
Much harder to be motivated when people aren’t around to believe in you,
In reality you are more focus on your goal when people look up to you,
but sometimes that puts more pressure on you.

Pressure is being serverely afraid of being a successful failure.
People don’t put you through pressure,
you put yourself through pressure.
You make your own choices,
In your head, you rely on your own head voices.

Greatest disappointment is impressing others
Greatest satisfaction is impressing yourself and no other but your mother

On the planet earth, we are only visitors.
But the afterlife is where we are looked upon by the only true inspector.
Now that’s where you feel the pressure.
You are judged on everything you done on earth, 
starting from birth.
Once you die, no second chance, no such thing as rebirth.
Your born alone and you die alone.
Nobody’s knows their true permanent home.
Everything you do at this moment,you are being watched by a spirit
beyond way greater than a person.
People don’t determine you final destination.

Writing Is Therapeutic

From left to right

words appear

as I think all night.

I write

from the heart and soul.

My writing is precious

as gold.

Release frustration

and turn combined thoughts

to a full presentation

like a power point slide

and the words I choose

to type

and poetry is the type

of literature I can

express

while in my mind

I’m painting a picture

with deep meanings

at a fast speed

like a baseball

thrown from a pitcher.

In a situation

where I’m hesitant

refuse to accept over thinking

so writing

is my blunt

and I’m smoking ,

Inhaling and exhaling

lyrics and sentences

onto paper

like smoke in thin air

coming from an exhaust pipe.

Smoking a pipe

while I write

ironically thinking

this method will save my life

and I will eat better

than a dyke

having a threesome.

Writing is my freedom

that feeds my belly

and the paper

when I’m publishing

my work through a agency

exposing

to the world.

Writing is my alcohol that heal wounds

Writing is my sun that shine

Writing is the fresh scent like perfume

Writing is the God of love like Cupid

and God heals wounds

that’s why my writing so therapeutic.

History > Money

An old poem I wrote in December 2016. I will be uploading some older poems for the next few days. I will be uploading alot for the next few days.

Do what you love best.
Be your own man,don’t follow the rest.
Your talent is what you wanna perfect
Look to prepare for the day after the next.
Be optimistic and make your dreams realistic.
Focus on being a warrior today to become a legend tomorrow,
because the future comes fast and you don’t wanna live in sorrow.
Chase the paper, but 1st pray to the creator of all things.
Sometimes wise to accept favors but don’t depend on people for everything.
Make your own path and have the people behind follow your lead.
The root of all evil we run towards like a race.
Come across the finish the line and happiness is what we believe we’ll embrace.
But the wealth is not always what it seems and it can cut you across the face.
Betrayal, drama, pride, greed, and envy are the intangible ingredients in money.
Money gives you royalty but don’t gain you the loyalty.
Life is funny and I’m not talking about comedians.
The broke and humble becomes the rich living as a hypocrite.
Those who were obedient become disobedient
when worshipping the paper like greek Gods.
But there’s only one God
and he’s almighty.
When you put money over your legacy you die with misery.
Chase the dream by putting God first and you’ll make history

 

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How do you feel about gossip?

2 Corinthians 12:20

“For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”

The first poem explains how gossip can destroy your career. Remember it’s all business

No Soul On Ice

When it’s below freezing
in their hearts
by any means necessary
make each day hard
Slowly destroying
and taking
credit for everything
you got.
Judgmental views
and they leave clues
and the words chew
your powerful tool.
I’m talking about
your mind
when in a political bind.
Your intellect is insulted,
heart is assaulted.
Though they don’t
seem belligerent,
will be quick to attack
you with kindness.
Are you confused
or blinded?
A hero they impersonate
but they are really snakes
act fake.
Contaminate, spike, and lace
the fluid
you need in order to live.
Leave you leaking
like oil from an engine.
Slowly dying
as you crying
begging for forgivness.
A hockey ring
with no hockey players
is symbolic and resides
deep inside
the liver.
Every organ inside shivers
like the homeless man
in winter.
Change color
like teeth
when you don’t brush them.
from bright white
to dark yellow
is the description
of your fellow
classmates and co-workers
as you complain
to your scoial worker
about the abuse and treatment
you receiving.
She speaks with a voice soft
that’s soothing.
Tell you the rights thing
she has your attention
and you are listening.
You are complaining
about a racist
Mention his name
Social worker hear this
and seems sympathetic.
She hugs you
makes you comfortable
Tells you
she looks forward
to seeing you next week
but in this world
trust in weak.
She has a fling thing
with the social service director
and he is related
to the racist
you were describing
You mentioned the racist name
and she passes the information
so she can get promotion.
Destruction because of corruption
and you don’t know it
You was betrayed by a deceiving
woman
who told you
everything you say
is confidential.
Promises are always broken
when someone is addicted
to attention.
The only mentor
you had
turns her back
on loyalty
for money.
A mixture of serpents
and Judas
Such a bad combination
Your life now headed for destruction
and you don’t even know it.
Social service director
has connections
to destroy your future forever
A soon to be lesson you
will remember
The temperture of the heart
of most
is a hockey ring without
hockey players
No Soul on Ice

This next poem explains on how to watch out for people that gossip because that ones that gossip are usually your enemies pretending to be your friend.

Play The Snake Close

So crafty and set
in their ways.
Play games and
cause pain.
Big smile across
the face
as they surround
negativity around
your space.
Attack behind your
back
and kill you with kindness.
With you they pretend
to laugh
but they laughing at you.
Can’t keep tounges
in their mouth
and you is all
they gossip about.
Snakes in church
accept blessings
but corrupted at work
by abusing power
making employees lives
harder
getting hardworking people
fired.
Snakes preach
forgive and forget
as a tatic
to avoid static
when they see a threat
so they rather
attack a rabbit
and that’s their habit
weak is their addiction,
that they poison, corrupt
and devour
because snakes are cowards.
You ever seen a snake
attack a hawk?
A hawk is the threat
that won’t be lead to
death
and they see everything
from right and left
Become the hawk
that play the snake close

Does Rumors Override Facts?

Believe what you hear, believe what you see but yet you don’t look in the glass.
You state you listen before you speak, but still gossip about someone’s past.
Why be the road bump to someone’s path,
decreasing a person’s reputation on the bar graph?
You may face karma for taking adavantage of the popularity your given
and exposing the negative attention that someone else is receiving.
Even if the truth is accurate, his business is his business
even if you was a eye witness.
but in this case you wasn’t and I’m starting to think are you jealous to believe something
when you wasn’t there from the beginning.
Secondary info carries more weight that
the primary facts
when the secondary info is heavy like a wooden baseball bat
and primary facts holds no weight like a empty scale.
This jealously of yours may trap you like a whale and karma is the harpoon.
Problem is popularity overrides the truth

Gossip is a huge problem. Two most common places I believe people gossip the most at school, work and church, but why does gossip happens? Comment below and explain briefly why you think people like to gossip?

Do you think people would still gossip if jeasouly in people hearts did not exist?

Do quiet people gossip the most(remember they say quiet people are the ones you have to watch)?

Listen to No Soul On Ice by David Hockaday #np on #SoundCloud

Listen to Play The Snake close/Does Rumors Override Facts by David Hockaday #np on #SoundCloud

If you want to listen to me recite the poems I wrote, please use the web browser to search these links if you have sound cloud. Please comment below if you was able to play the video. If you wasn’t I apologize ahead of time and I will fix this shortly