I am at the point to where I need a break at this moment. I get overwhelmed by a variety of things in life. I found myself wanting to hit the reset switch. I wish life was a video game, where there is a reset button and I can start all over. I am going to mention all of the things I need a break from:
1. People
Ever since I was a child, I always had a hard time trying to fit in rather it was school, church, work, or even at family events. I have a very quiet personality. I have always been told that I need to open up to people more, but every time I do, the energy is not reciprocated back to me. So because of this, I been on a self isolated island where I just stay to myself. I am always known as the quiet person in public. I get annoyed when people ask me “Why are you so quiet?”. Choosing to remain quiet is not a curse and I hate when people act like it is. The reason why I am so quiet is because people are judgmental and as I get older, I lose the motivation to speak with people due to the endless responsibilities I need to take care of.
2. Social Media
This one is relatable to the first point I made because people are the ones that have an impact on Social Media. Although I must that admit that you can learn a lot from Social Media, it is a very toxic place. Social Media made people anti-social. Social Media is the reason why I feel like life lacks originality compared to years ago. It made people become experts on speaking on topics they have no experience whatsoever. Most importantly, it gave unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships/marriages. People constantly need to seek validation from other people. Due to Social Media, I have moments where I lose motivation due to overwhelming access information that we have today compared to previous generations. I always feel like there should be a break as far application developers developing applications. I understand that an app developer have a job to do, but I feel that we have another apps already. I wish we can go at least go the next five without the development of any new apps and just stick with the apps that we have now.
3. Thinking About the Future
I am always thinking about my future. I want to reach to the highest mountain in life. I want to accomplish all of my dreams. The problem comes with all of the hurdles I have to jump in order to get to the point where I can keep my feet up and relax. For this year, I have to save more money, I have to start looking for houses soon, and I plan to start a family soon. Last year, I got married, I got a new job, I got a promotion within my new job, and I had to pay money to make major repairs in my condo. Although, everything I accomplished were blessings for the year of 2023, I am mentally worn out. Wedding planning alone was a mentally draining vacuum sucking the life out of me. Having to deal with the anxiety of being the center of attention and coordinating with different vendors is an overthinking civil war within yourself. Although wedding planning is over, I now have to mentally prepare for searching for a house. Life is an endless planning tunnel where you will constantly have to plan in order to adjust
Poetry Blog 