Why Lazy DAYS MAKE ME UNPRODUCTIVE?

Every time I take a lazy day, I always feel unproductive no matter how hard I work. In general, I feel like compared to others my age, I am behind. So I am constantly working twice as hard to catch up just to be mediocre.

In my mind, when I take a lazy day, I feel like I am making excuses for myself to not work hard. I feel like I am giving up and will always settle with struggling. I feel like I don’t deserve any lazy days no time soon. On my lazy days, I start overthinking that I could get into financial problems, it will spark insecurity, and that I will never achieve my dreams. I always have to keep busy.

  1. Do you feel like lazy days are addictive?
  2. What are the pros and cons taking a lazy day?

Our Love

Repetition of love

as it translates to a rhythmical meaning

at first sight

harvesting

rainwater subdues

the drought in my heart

as it produces an afterglow

that shines the dark

and debugs the poison

where in exchange

the roots of deep affection

masters its elevation.

Keep things bottled up inside

Keeping things bottled up inside
Some say its suicide
Some say its how you survive
All I know is I try
Just want peace before I die
so I keep things inside
to subdue the tears from my eyes
but running out of room
on the inside
so one day I may explode like a dynamite.

poem

Does The Storm Last Forever

Please check out my podcast at https://anchor.fm/david-hockaday7

The storm is temporary

Pain is something

I don’t plan to make hereditary

I will be a legend

the day people visit my cemetery

I’m weak now

but the load is something

I force myself to carry

Was once freezing and pouring

Now it is just chilly and drizzling

One day it will be sunny

and God’s light will shine

on me but for now

I have to concentrate on the demon

inside me

Listening to my life story

is a sad story

It’s like expressing your heartbreak story

but yet trying to remain strong

and pretending your mood is ordinary

but deep down

you are hoping your past love

call you and tell you that they still care.

The words we are hoping to hear

lead to disappointments

when the truth is what we see

and the truth is rarely what we hear

Accepting criticism is not easy to bare that’s why our

private life is something

we don’t like to share

Judgmental is what makes us scared

like Chuckie

when he sees the guy on the oatmeal box

The heart is a door

we might just for once leave unlock

for a robber to steal everything

we got

We learn the hard way, the heart hardens

Our personality received the life sentence

and the key is thrown away

The heart is forever locked

for us being afraid of opening up again

Being afraid is

wishing you can start over again

but refuse to

Regret being miserable and hating yourself because starting over

is what you refuse to do.

So when you die and loved ones

visit your cemetery

they will always remember that you could not handle the truth

Just Another Nigga

Tough times never last

It’s all in your mind

I am living luxurious

It’s all in my mind

when I dream of dream

so marvelous

like a shooting star

This is what I wish

when my dreams are shot down

Being black in the wrong town

I’ve been told I am just another nigga

Freedom is not a blessing

Freedom is luck

Difference between blessings and luck

Blessings are miracles provided by heroes

Luck is just a demon telling in your mind

“you are not safe,

I just haven’t had the time to kill you yet

and when I do, I will piss on your grave

You are just another nigga

and will always be

I don’t care about your accomplishments

I don’t give a fuck about your dreams

Until I kill you

I will haunt you in your sleep

Why do think ghost are white?

Ask yourself that

everytime

I tell you

You are just another nigga”

This Is the World We Live In

I thank all of you for visiting my blog. In a few days, I will recite the poem below on one of my future podcast episodes

Please click here https://anchor.fm/david-hockaday7 to follow and listen to the episodes on my podccast

That’s what’s wrong with the world

Men want to improve their circumstances

Men aren’t willing to improves themselves

We disrespect our self-respect

for a greater addiction

Moments of a broken elevator

and the lights goes out

Stuck in the same spot, demons attack behind closed doors

A world of darkness,

blood and gore

But what we fear is too prideful

for our acceptance

so we receive the weapons

like a recruit going a war for

but for the wrong purpose

We kill those we love

because we hate the truth.

We rather look cool

so the power of addiction do what it do

Turn blind to a light

that was suppose to help us seek

and worship a dark world

that lacks form and void

and hate are the words we speak

Fallen angles control our mouths like translators

to force a language so that can slay the weak

instead of improving those that are fragile

we take the advantage of the inexperienced

Life is prison on the outside

Its about adaption and survival of the fittest

Crime rate increase in areas

where it feels like its impossible to find a meal ticket in a way that’s legitimate

But how can we conform with society

when racism exist

Contagious like covid

and killed so many lives

and some were innocent

The master of slaves

get jealous of the

slave that don’t even have a third

of what the master have

but one small accomplishment of a slave

will form rallies of KKK

A thin line between love and hate

on a deeper level

Its a thin line between Jokes and Jealously

Some say jokes is really jealously

in disguise

Jokes is a serpent, jealously is the dragon

So is love really pure, or is love really hate?

Do you come on social media

express how you grateful for life

and your accomplishments

and then go to the mirror and cry yourself

to sleep because you can’t stand the sight of your face

It be the people with most prettiest faces

that does the most hatred

So if racism was a neighbor hood,

it would be Centreville, Illinois

disguised as a beautiful attraction

so another words just pictureMidtown Manhattan

with all the riots and that’s the world we live in

If you had power to destroy one or the other, would you destroy racism or covid?

I Will Never Go Back

I don’t resonate with old me

Too many dark paths

To many demons in me

It took years for me to conquer

To make it this far I’m honored

and I will never give the past over me

I plan to accomplish my dreams

If I bleed

I won’t die

It’s a scarfice for a better life