A Story of How I Almost Gave Up

Late night, reminiscing of times before I knew you exist.
I came a very very long way, lessons I will never forget.
Painful moments was regrets, but eventually turned to lessons.
I know more now compared to back then, but still have unanswered questions.
Life is short like abbreviations, a fast paced world as my mind advances.
Lives are the doors and over the years I walked from door to door.
I was a salesman that knocked on them, usually the door remained closed or only opened for a few seconds.
A lot of rejections and even though that comes with the business of being a salesmen,
my confidence, I started to question.
Feet was tired from walking, sweet honest words I was tired of speaking.
Even though I was selling a dream, I wasn’t robbing them for money, I was stealing their attention, trying to give them the whole world in a moment.
But yet I was failing, usually by landslide, but at times I came close to passing.
The closer I came to passing,  the more I complained when I faced rejection.
So I know a heartbreak probably hurts 10 times more when breakups happen so close to the wedding.
Still a lot more attractive houses left, but I took a break and rested my feet.
I changed my approach and use devil techniques.
I did whatever it took to satisfy my needs.
Lies wasn’t something I was proud of but I wanted to satisfy my needs by any means.
So because I focused on the currency, telling them what they wanna hear was the cheat.
I did get better results, needs was satisfied, but yet why did success feel overrated?
Was it because I was cheating?
At first I thought hard work was overrated, but quickly learned success is overrated 
when you make it through life by cheating.
So I was a robot going through the process, I become emotionless.
But then I found your door, knocked on it, and it was wide open.
I thought to myself, maybe I’m a just fool trying to impress another person 
or your the fool that’s a victim of a selfish man requirement.
But what was different was I was invited in and now it’s  two years later and still haven’t left.
I’m nice and comfortable and got a tour of the inside.
The furniture and decorations, now this is love at first sight.
The door is closed behind me, but the key to the outside still visible upon my eye sight.
I don’t know what’s the best decision to make now for a better future,
but all of my rejections was previous lessons that made me much wiser.
Now the key that’s visible, you can unlock the door and let me back out
Or we  can dwell together in this house forever.
I hope you make the right decision after reading this letter,
And if you do, I promise you to give you the world in every moment, forever.

It Was Only Suppose To Be A Simple First Date Only

Everything seemed normal until I laid eyes on her.

Swear the most gorgeous figure and her hairstyle is most what I adored.

Definitely have caught my attention for sure.

I approached her, got her name, number, and I wanted to get to know her

some more.

A week later I took her to dinner and we conversed.

She told me she was a school nurse and on

Sundays she goes to church.

A beautiful working woman that’s God fearing, what more can I ask more.

I admire her curves as we talked for a while.

The round hips on her, and the dimples when she smiles.

Something was happening to me while she speaks to me.

The flirtatious look on her face turned me on and had me blushing.

I got a little embarrassed when she noticed that because I like to keep 

what’s on my mind a secret.

But truth be told it was obvious even to a first grader that I was catching feelings.

As usual she had to say “Aww you look so cute when you blush”

I started to giggle a little and I said “Okay now that’s enough.”

A little while later, the waiter brought the bill.

I pulled out the 50 dollars and left a 10 dollar tip on the table 

and asked her “Did you enjoy your meal?”

She said “It was cool, even though I didn’t finish it”

I wanted to invite her to my house, but I couldn’t form the sentence.

Finding the rights word at that moment was nonexistent, I guess I was nervous. 

I been on dates before but  I still felt like a novice.

So instead I played it safe an drove her back home in silence.

So I pulled up to the curb in front of her house and put the car in park.

I felt the tension between us like where in a horror movie and it was after dark.

She said “So what are you about to get into now?”

I said “Nothing much then I started daydreaming imagining her in a sexy gown.

She said “I didn’t expect to get home so early now”

I was caught off guard and I was thinking hard.

I was almost certain she was throwing out the clues.

Like  a game of chess, how do I start, how do I make my first move?

What do I do?

She started touching my arms admiring my Sean John sweater but felt my body tense up.

She really had to push her luck and now at that point I already know wassup.

She began to cares my neck and armpits and tickle just to hear me giggle.

This moment was definitely official because I knew I was soon going to yell checkmate.

But I didn’t make any move yet I choose to play it safe

by saying ” What do I have to do to get you to stop?”

She pulled me closer and said “come here” we  kissed and I didn’t want to stop.

After thirty seconds I stopped and I pretend  I was shocked even though deep down

I knew ahead of time what she was gonna do.

I waited for a few seconds then I went in for the kiss full force and aggressive. 

I kissed and touch her with a little bit of lust and affection.

She felt the bulge between my pants and I anticipated on what she was about to do next.

I reclined my seat back, close my eyes and she was giving me some neck.

Five minutes later just when I was about to cum, she asked me ” Do you have a condom?”

 

To Be Continued!

or

 

 

How should I continue the next part of this story?

1) The guy has a condom in his pocket and get his groove on and sex her good?

2) The guy has a condom and get try to get his groove on but can’t obtain an erection?

3) The guy doesn’t has a condom and the girl just has sex with him anyway and they both have a pregnant scare?

4) The guy doesn’t have condom and she told him I can’t have sex with you without a condom but the guy gets angry and decides to rape her?

5) The guy doesn’t has a condom and the girl just has sex with him and she catches an STD?

 

 

Should I Go To A Open Mic?

I remember last year around this time,
had dreams of making you mine
but underconfident I couldn’t reach the finish line
because I didn’t have a dime.
No joke when your on the decline.
Barely food for dinner.
Cold during the winter
People mistaken me for a drug addict
People mistaken me for an alcoholic.
Everything is part of God’s plan,
and I felt like hell was my destination
but still kept the bible in my hand.
It wasn’t easy as man.
How do you thank Jesus
when searching for scraps
in trash cans?
Just couldn’t give up
Becoming inpatient
until I saw your face.
You felt sorry for me
and gave me a plate food
to stuff my skinny face.
You walked past
and visited everyday
In the alley by the fire escape
to drop off food
which gradually put
me in a better mood.
Vienna Sausage and soup.
So we began to converse
and I learned you
was a registered nurse.
I told you I write poetry
and short stories.
Your face lit up
because you love poetry.
You asked me to recite a poem

“I feel like an airship
high and mighty
but I am a sinking ship
just forever drowning
I feel like an African King
ruling my kingdom
side by side with my lovely queen
but I am slave, a peasant,
body worn down
from building tall pyramids.
I feel like a pastor
preaching to the congregation
on Easter,
making people in believers
but I am a hypocrite
for telling civilians
that walk by me to follow Jesus
since the skin my body
is dirty.
I feel like I’m dwelling in heaven
but this morning I almost committed suicide.
I feel like I have all the answers
but I have so many answered questions.
I feel like the devil is a liar
but he told Eve the truth
about the tree of knowledge
of good and evil.
I feel like a black hero
saving my people
but I feel like a false king
like Scar
waiting for judgment day
when the lake of fire
burns my face.
All men created equal
In a world
that so vile and diabolical.
These thoughts have me suicidal
but for some reason I refuse to.”

You are just speechless.
You believe that poem is unique
and you love the way I speak.
You say you will take me
to open Mic at the poetry club
next week.

Should I go to a open mic

next week?

Comment below if you think I should go to a open mic?

God bless all my followers and comment below is there a topic that interest you that you would like me to wrtie a poem about and I will upload it starting in July.

Don’t Believe It When She Says “I’m Done With Him”

Ever felt like you was getting somewhere because you proved to her that you actually care?
You was the very select few that took heed and gave her advice on the hardships of life.
You heard her pain and cries,
Her whining about why can’t I  find the right guy.
Sick and tired of her complaining about the same no good guy.
He doesn’t  take the effort to communicate like you do
He doesn’t  appreciate her like the way you do.
All he does to her is just aggravate.
You wanna steal her away but you just sit back and play it safe.
Patience is the key to paradise, but what seems too good to be true is just a disguise.
As usual minding your business but she getting you involved  in her drama scene as if your a eye witness.
Telling all her business about the same daily bullshit,
but this time she says , I’m fed up I’m done with this and I’m done with him.
Now you reading her text  with a slight grin while scratching the hair on your chin.
So bad you wanna invite her over and smash, but you remain a true friend.
Cheer her up and tell her she deserves better.
From here on out the weather only gets  better.
For every rainstorm after  will be a  rainbow and some sunlight.
You treat her like a plant and you provide her the sunlight to her mind to mentally prepare her and help her grow in life.
We all suppose to put the childish things away and move on with our life that God provide.
You telling her the nice things she likes to hear  to make her smile for a while.
She doesn’t  completely  forget the pain from the past but she says you making her feel better.
You and her become cohesive like  bread and peanut butter.
You really start to think  she is unique among the others.
You admire the her  beauty spiritually  like a  romeo Juliet love letter.
As far as all the others, the thought patterns on your brain she’s  the only one that can relate.

Enough time pass and now want to take her out on a date.
It’s been 2 months, you gave her plenty of space
You believe it’s  the right time and place.
Besides you and her speak every hour of the day.
Now a week before Valentine’s  Day, the day you don’t  even care for, you want to take her to a nice place;an actual real date.
It’s 10 AM  she text Good Morning , how you sleep you know the regular.
As usual, you being charming filling her her heart with laughter.
Now day goes by and it’s  night time.
Now you think it’s your time to shine  like a Jack O lantern’s eye.
You both text each other at the same time “I got something to ask you”
You text “You go first”.
She  says ” I’m  going to away next on a cruise”
You say ” Oh nice that’s  wassup you going on a  family cruise”
She say”No”
You say” Oh okay, well who’s going with you?”
She says” The guy I  use to complain about”
You say ” You’re ex boo?”
She says”  Yes with the emoji ” now you wanna black out.
You say” okay wow”
She says” he proposed to me , he brought me a ring. I’m not ready to get married but I  do feel so happy.”
You ask” Do you love him?”
She says” Yes ”
You say” I’m happy for you and I  wish the best but just quick question and you don’t have to answer it, but I  thought you was done with him”
She says” Yeah at the time I  was done with him but he just came out of nowhere and we been talking for 2 weeks. He’s been communicating  and he is constantly changing. I will go on the cruise and see where this leads him and me but nothing is guarantee ”
You say” okay interesting”
She says”Yeah”
So now you realize that these hoes  ain’t loyal as you drinking cold beer. Don’t always trust and believe what your hear

Don’t Worry; The Person Next To You Is Flawed Too

I dedicate this story/poem to K E Garland. She wanted me to write a poem about  “Don’t worry; the person next to you is flawed too”  and if she is reading this, I just want to let her know that it was a pleasure writing a story/poem about this topic and I find this topic to be very relatable in life. She picked a great topic for me to write about and I hope you enjoy reading this topic.

 

This is a story in poetry format in which will discuss a young man who is very under confident and feels like he didn’t accomplish anything in life. As you read this story, you will learn an important lesson  that can help your children

The following characters in this story

David: 27 year old man with a very pessmistic view on life, but yet a  very talented individual and a lot of people see greatness in him but he can’t see it in himself.

Michael: David’s guardian angel and his purpose is to guide David and show David how to take control of his life

Nigel: A famous athlete, but had dreams of becoming a poet as a youth

 

 

The Story Begins

Act 1:

Michael: I understand you don’t want to put people beneath but never put people above you:

David: But you don’t understand  I’m placed in a situation where it’s hard to be a man.
You say I have to follow God’s plan?

Michael: God is the way. God will protect you and keep you safe. All you have to do is pray.

David: That’s easy for you too say.
You haven’t walked a mile in my shoes,
you already made perfect, you have nothing to loose.
How can I keep my cool?
I feel like such a fool
You say the bible is a tool
but yet Satan is on the loose.
I’m a grown man still living at home.
I’m a nice guy but I am alone.
I get booed on stage
when I recite a poem
I have critters on my face
I’m broke and I have to pay
student loans.
All my friends are gone.
I haven’t had sex in years
I’m addicted to porn.
My eyes release tears
for being miserable
for so long.

Michael: Hop in the magic cloud
Let me  show you something!

David: Where you taking me?

Michael: I’m taking you to a visit
the penitentiary.

(Michael takes David to prison in spirit in his magic cloud)

 

 

Michael: What do you see?

David: I see a riot
and it looks so violent

(Michael takes David to one of the visiting stations)

Michael: Now what do you see?

David: I see a man
staring at the glass window crying
talking with his family
over the phone
saying he is never coming home.
Telling his wife and kids to
move on.

(Michael shows David the next visiting station)

Michael: Now what do you see?

David: I see man staring through the glass
talking to his family
wishing he would of change the past

(Michael now takes David to the cemetery with just the snap of his finger)

 

David: Wait where are we?

Michael: We are at the cemetery?

David: Wait why are we here?

Michael: To show you that with your negative
thinking you will end up here.

David: But wait, isn’t everybody
going to end up here?

Michael: Correct all humans will face death
and it’s not much time life.
but you said you believe in Jesus
Christ right?

David: Right!

Michael: The bible says leave your worries to God
and let God handle your problems.
You can’t solve them
so just let God solve them.
I took you to prison
to expose to you
that somebody has it worst than you.
Yes you don’t have a job
but you have your health
You don’t have a perfect face
but your smile is what
make people melt.
You have gotten booed on stage
but you have the voice
that can heal a person
at any place.
Maybe you should
stop watching adult films
and use your tongue
to say Grace
for the food that the Lord put
on your plate.
For thanksgiving
you had mash potatoes,
cornbread, Mac n cheese
string beans and chicken.
In prison the inmates
had tuna fish on
white bread
a brownie,
salad and
chocolate milk
The food was so spoiled
it’s a plague that
can kill.
Half the inmates
caught a stomach virus
A few ended up
dying.
Here’s the kicker
Half of them
we’re innocent
men.
Now men token
away from their children.
Imagine your Father
died in prison
on Thanksgiving.
Remember this
in order to make it
to heaven
you will get tested
You suffer
but if you reach to
God
You will have eternal life forever.
Here let me show you
something
Hop back in the cloud!

(Michael takes David to a mansion)

David: Where are now?

Michael: In the mansion of a millionaire

David: Why, this looks so nice
There’s also a waterfall outside
A statue in the front
Each room with multiple bed bunks
A staircase in the living room
A staircase in the kitchen
Damn I thought a staircase
in the kitchen
only existed in  sitcoms.
Oh wow look,
in his bedroom
he has a intercom.
This is a beautiful house
I bet you the owner
of this house
is happy
like Danny Taner
on full house

(A male celebrity enters the mansion)

David: What’s he doing?

Michael: Just watch and see

Nigel: Lord please forgive me
for not following my dreams
The fans scream
but everyday in the mirror
I scream.
I wasn’ t strong enough
to say no to peer pressure
Now the sweat my forehead
gets colder
and I’m won’t be getting
much older.
I wanted to be poet
but my dad, high school coach,
and friends said football
was my calling.
I am talented becuase of
my size
but my words were
the gift of life
and each line
represented  a sercet prize,
the secret of eternal life
since I was doing
what made me happy.
But now sadly
I have human
Immunodeficiency  virus
for having sex unprotected.
My mom warned me
and I didn’t listen.
Since I had money,
a unwanted pregnacy
didn’t scare me.
But I wasn’ t thinking about HIV.
I’m already paying child support
I play a dangerous sport
for a living
and now I’m about to go broke.
I can’t afford this mansion,
child support, and the medicine.
This is incredulous.
The groupies are so devilish.
I should of married my high school
sweetheart,
but I cheated and broke her heart.
She is now happily married
and she has a  large beauitful family.           I have this mansion and it’s empty.    Damn lord please forgive me for thinking of suicide

Michael: You see young man
just because somebody is bigger than you,
have more money than you,
get more girls than you,
smile more than you,
don’t make them better than you.
Now yes you are no better than
nobody else but
nobody is better than you.
Don’t worry because the person
next to you is flawed too.
I can show you how to
be in a better mood
but it’s all up to you.
Put your life in the lords hands
and say that today
you will put childish things away
and become a man.

David: Today I will put childish things away and become a man.
I will follow the lord’ s plan.
Poetry is my calling
and I am blessed to have a ceiling.
Lord yes I need healing
Yes lord

Michael: Say Amen!

David: Amen!

Michael: Do you know this celebrity?

David: He looks familiar but no not really

Michael: This is Nigel Banks
your high classmate
5ft 11 stocky
Popular and ladies loved him
with caramel complexion
Waves in his hair.
Remember he beat you up
for not letting him cheat
Remember he use to make
fun of you
when you use to speak.
Remember he pushed
you down the stairs.
Remember he use to
make fun of your nappy hair.
Look at him now.
His life is crashing to
the ground.
When he scored a touchdown
never thank God.
When he signed autographs
never thank God.
When he wanted to pursue poetry
instead of playing football
never prayed to God
Now he is going to break his mom’s
heart with the bad news.
You lacking faith don’t just affect you
but all the loved ones around you.
Since high school Nigel always been miserable.
Remember young man
Don’t worry because the person
next to you is flawed too.

Questions to think about 

1) Do you think it’s easy to accept yourself for the way you are, when you are constantly rejected over and over?

2) Do you believe in karma?

3) Would you rather be extremely under confident or extremely argorant?

4) What two words would you use to describe why the world is unfair?

5) The  person that gives the best advice always practice what they preach, true or false?

6) Are people with opstmitic thinking trustworthy?

7) Are people with pessimistic thinking born that way or do you think something bad happen  or someone hurt their feelings in which destroyed their confidence?

8) Can you still be happy in life if you don’t follow your dreams?

9) Can you still be miserable even if you are following your dreams?

10) Are you following your dreams or are you pursuing a career that your parents pressured you to do?

Let’s Read This Story And Pick A Letter At The End

I really really need your help please read and give me an answer!

As a hardworking man
It’s Saturday, I can relax
I brought bubbles
and time to take bath
but unfortunately
interpreted by my dad.
He wants me
to do chores.
I have to wash dishes
and mop the kitchen floor.
He tells me that
in his deep voice,
then he closes the door.
When it comes to chores,
I get bored.
My own place
I wish I can afford it
Cleaned the dishes
and I just mopped the floor
I go to my dad’s room
to open the door
to see him banging
some whore.
I could barely see the whore
since she is under
the covers
and my dad is on top
of her.
Then he screams and
says “why don’t you knock”
As I watch the whore move
under the covers
down
to suck his cock
and my dad says
“Can you go the store
and buy some condoms?
I said “Can I take a bath first?”
He says” You can do that later, you don’t
have to go to work”
So I walk to the store
and brought magnums
like an obedient son
plus a pack of gum.
I come back to the house
and go to his room
and I saw a dead mouse
on the floor
behind the door.
My dad says “Son
can you pick up
that dead mouse on the floor? “
I said “Why can’t you do it?”
as I hand him the condoms “
He says
“Boy are you stupid
how dare you talk to
me like this, apologize
for talking to me like this!”
I apologize to him
He accepts and says
“Your dismissed!”
So I get fed up and call
mom and tell her that
dad is sick
and need to go
to the hospital.
But I was planning
to get my dad in trouble
and expose him for cheating
Mom wasn’t suppose be home
for another 3 hours
but because of me
she will be home at this hour.
45 minutes later she walks in the house
knocks on the door
and yells
“Howard, Howard!”
The door was locked
which was confusing
to my mom.
But I know my dad
was having some fun
getting his groove on.
He opened the door
and went inside
and I’m like
yes my dad is about
to die
and he getting kicked
out tonight.
But for some strange reason
she went inside the room
and I didn’t hear any
shouting or screaming.
I went by the door
and I didn’t hear nothing.
Then all of a sudden
I heard moaning
from three voices
I’m like this is atrocious
My dad and my mom
is having a threesome.
I then tripped over my
shoelaces and turned the knob
and bust the door open.
I fell on the floor and I was embarrassed
and so were they.
Thus is a crazy Saturday
I saw my mom riding my
dad’s face.
Now I realized I need my own space.
They looked at me mad as shit and said
“Boy I’m going
to beat your ass!”
Then I heard a laugh
and it came from under the covers
and it was the whore laughing
saying “Daddy your big, you need
a bigger rubber unlike my boyfriend, he small  and  a lousy lover”
Then the whore came out
under the covers
looked at me and screamed.
I shouted ” Elizabeth!”
My parents were having a threesome
with my girlfriend.
So there you have it
as I was in tears speaking
to my therapist
reminiscing about my girlfriend
having a threesome
with my parents

Lol if you was the therapist how would you respond?

A) You would laugh at him

B) You would say, can I get a turn with you mom/ dad  rather if your a male or females reading

C) You would quit and find another profession because this story is too much to handle

D) Or would pretend to be listening but actually  be  asleep then wake suddenly right as he finishes his story and say “I’m sorry you were saying something?”

I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 2) This is a very long blog personal blog

I sure some of you have noticed  I have been posting a lot blogs for the last 3 days. For the month of December I plan to go all out with my blogs and I will be posting a lot of rel – eatable  content. Tomorrow  I will post a poem “Suicide thoughts” and it’s a deep topic to discuss. Now please for those of you that don’t know me, please click this link Who Am I? . It’s an autobiography of me to learn more about me so you can understand this story. Also please, please read I Will Never Forget My 25th Birthday (Part 1) before reading this blog. I hope you all enjoy.  This is a very, very long blog so I will understand if you get bored but I wanted to share my story because I know a lot of people been heart broken before and I like to break things down for you bloggers to picture what I went through. Also this is a very long blog, so if you don’t like reading long blogs you will get bored reading this.

April 2015

Next day is Sunday and I’m still thinking about the previous night. She text me “Good Morning” and I replied back but I wasn’t in the mood to communicate with her. Throughout the day she kept texting me and I just kept replying back but I wasn’t really feeling the vibe after what happened the previous night. After a while, she noticed that I wasn’t really in the mood so she asked me “Are you okay?” I replied back “I call you later” When she got off work, I called her and I asked “Do you still have feelings on me?” she was a little hesitant and said” On certain days I do, on certain days I’m not in the mood.” Now that I’m wiser looking back at it now, I should of just wished her luck and moved on, but you live and you learn. So anyway when she told me that, I asked her “Well what’s gonna happen between us in the future? She responded “I’m not sure” So I said “We can’t remain friends forever tho, either one day we will get back together or we will go our separate ways.” Now I don’t remember what her response was because this was like 3 years ago but I said what I said to her because I guess I was trying to put the pressure on her so she can really figure out what she wanna do. I felt like she got too comfortable with receiving relationship benefits on a friendship level. I also asked her over the phone why she didn’t want to kiss me and if she was uncomfortable and she told me “Oh no I was just tired and I wanted to go home.” I felt like she was bullshitting because even if you tired if you really into somebody even if your tired wouldn’t you still kiss that person?(just a question to think about)

                                                                     May 2015

Fast forward to May, me and this girl still are communicating but probably like 2 or 3 times a week. At this point I’m focus because I started working 2 jobs so I was busy everyday. At this point I started talking to other girls to get my mind off my ex because at this point I didn’t know what was going to happen between me and her. My ex and I would text about 2 or 3 times a week. I won’t lie I still had feelings for her. Now back in April when we saw the fast furious movie I did tell her we were going to see Avengers age of Ultron in May but after I tried to kiss her and she slammed the car door on my face I was like fuck that (for those that don’t know what happened when we saw fast furious go back to the top of this blog and click on the link and read the 1st part). So it was the beginning of May and we texting back and fourth. I mentioned I couldn’t wait to see the avengers movie. She said when do you plan to see it” I said maybe this weekend”
then I asked her “Do you plan to see it?” She said ” I thought we planned on seeing it together but I guess you don’t feel like driving to queens.” Lol I played it off and said ” Lol my fault I forgot you know I’m a old man I forget simple shit”. She called me an old man. I didn’t forget, I was playing it off because you see, this girl barely kissed me, and we haven’t had sex in months. Now me and her are just friends at this point so I wasn’t really chasing the sex but at this point I’m like if she comfortable enough to hang out with me, comfortable enough to her allow to pick from work, I even gave her money twice(now this was my fault because I volunteered to do this) but whenever I try to make a move or bring up my feelings she goes cold. So now I’m like you know what, I ain’t going out my way for her no more unless she gives it up. So later when I was in school, we was texting back and  fourth. Don’t remember how this started, but I said to her “You can’t say my name lol ” but we just joking. She said “Yes I can lol”. I said “You can’t say my name unless we having sex and I know you not trying to take it there” She put “Lmao but can still say your name”. I said “Lol why well are you going to have sex with me?” She said “No, but I can still say your name” I said “Alright fine, you can say my name while having sex with another guy” She said “No that would be very rude of me to say that” I said, ” Well it’s very rude for you to say my name”, I don’t remember her response but after I left class I gave her a call. I decided that either we get back together or I go my separate way.  So called her and told that. I asked her if she wanted to work things out and get back together. She said she wasn’t sure so I told I will give you 2 weeks to think about it.  The following week she got the nerve to ask me for a favor,something to do with her car. I made up an excuse though, I didn’t do it. Some other things happen during the month of May but I can’t remember everything because it’s been so long. This took place over two years ago.

                                                                June 2015

So now we fast forward to June. Both of our birthdays were in June. Between May and June we barely spoke. I was on the verge of just cutting her off. At this point, I still had feelings but I was starting to get use to not hearing from her. I felt like I started healing. I felt like I was getting stronger or at least I thought I was. So anyway it was  the middle of June  and it was her birthday. It was 9AM and I was contemplating on rather or not if I should text her “Happy Birthday”. So after 10 minutes of being in deep thought, I decided to text her “Happy Birthday” and she said “Thank you!”. From that day until June 22, we slowly started communicating here and there but not often. So now fast forward to about 4 or 5 days later this girl texted me ” You okay?”. Once in a blue moon she would text me this if we haven’t spoke in a while. So anyway, I texted her” I alright wbu?” So she “I’m good” I said” Is there anything you wanna talk about?” She said” Are you seeing new friend?” I said” New friend? do you mean if  I’m dating somebody new?” She said “Yes!” I said “No, but why did you ask me that?” She said “No reason” I said” for real stop playing why you asked me that?” She said” I just want to see you found someone to replace me that’s all”. Now I  don’t know why I said this looking back at this now but my response was” Nah, nobody would ever take your place”.
She responded” Aww ”
So she asked me” How is work coming along?”
I said “I’m just busy you know staying focus working two jobs?” She said ” That’s a lot, but if we was to get back together, how would you have the time?” I said”Good question, but I can make time.” Now I was just thinking to myself maybe she does want to get back together but I still was on my guard because I still didn’t trust her. I somewhat had feelings for her still, but I was healing little by little.  So fast forward to June 22, she texted me ” How you doing?” I said” I’m good!”  We was going back and fourth and she I told her that my supervisor was letting me leave work early. She said” Why?” I said “because it’s my birthday” She said “Omg I’m so sorry Happy Birthday!”  I’m just like “lol thank you”. One minute later, she gave me a call and said she apologizes for forgetting my birthday then she said let’s hang out. I said I’ll let you know. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. So  I asked a co-worker for advice. The co-worker said I should let her take me out for my birthday. So I took his advice(looking back now I should just went with my instincts instead of taking this advice)

                                                                   July 2015

For those of you reading this, if you don’t like what your hearing and if you feel like this is a fucked story then I wouldn’t recommend reading the rest of this story because it does get worst. So now it’s July and I wanted go to a buffet. I picked her up and we went to the buffet. I swear I was not trying to make a move or anything I just wanted to be a simple date that’s all. So we at the buffet, and we are talking. She seemed really excited to see me. Around this time, I was listening to K love trying to change my ways and become more positive. So anyway, I can’t lie, my feelings started coming back, she seemed really excited to see me, plus she just got her license so I was excited for her. She wanted to register for college (now what I am about to say was so foolish, so stupid, so navie) and she owed the school 1000 dollars.  I was working two jobs, I had money, plus I was listening K love radio station, so I was feeling positive and I felt like God was looking out for me. I love helping people so I offer to help her pay for college and I told her she only have to pay me half back by December. She really appreciated it. So after the buffet I was planning to take her home, but  she said she wasn’t in a rush to go home. We decided to go to the mall to pass time. To my surprise, she started holding my hand while in the mall. Now that’s what got me because we haven’t done that in months.  Now think about this, 3 weeks prior, she asked me if I was dating anybody else, if we got back together how would you have the time,  and she started holding my hand, now wouldn’t this lead you on?  So we head back to the car and I was feeling the moment and I tried kissing her. She started pulling back harder. So I’m thinking like alright she just playing hard to get. It’s been a while since like months since  I got close with a female and I feel like this was a good opportunity. This time I didn’t care I was coming on to her. But when I got closer the second time, she said “I  don’t want to get turned on , it’s been a month since I been turned on” I paused for a second because I’m like what the fuck that got to do with me and why you telling that. So I asked her “You had sex a month ago?”  she said “Yes”. Let’s think about this, all along for months I made effort to show her that I care, I gave her money like twice, picked her up from work, went to church with her family, contacted her on a daily, never pressured her for sex up until this point, and she fucked someone else like wow. I was shocked because I let my guard down. In the back of my mind since April I had a feeling she was messing with another guy. I knew it and I tried my hardest to move on but she kept leading me on and I tried so hard to give her the benefit of the doubt. Now I can’t remember what my response was, but I drove her home in silence. I went home pissed of. For the men that’s reading this, I’m sure you can understand how I felt.  So anyway she texted me “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get you upset” I called her and told I think it’s best we don’t talk for a while.  I couldn’t even go to sleep that night. Every day I kept thinking and thinking about this bullshit. I couldn’t focus at work , I couldn’t focus at school , I just kept replaying this shit in my head. I could not let it go.  So I went to God and I prayed. I too realized  that back in October I broke up with her through a text message and I will briefly explain that at the end of this blog. So I prayed and I talked to my mom and she started praying for me. After about a week , I decided to text and ask her why she did what she did?(I know I should of just left her alone) When you love somebody it’s very hard to move on. In fact, when the person you love breaks your heart, you blame yourself and that’s what  I did. Now I can’t remember everything but since I was trying so hard to forgive her, praying to God still,  I decided to forgive her and I texted whatever happened on my birthday let’s leave it in the past and just move on. Now at this point I wasn’t trying to get back with her anymore, but I thought at least we can be civil and move on. The reason why I blamed myself because sometimes I feel like I overthink a lot of things and I create situations and problems  in my head worrying about every single thing and I was trying hard to change that at that time. So I figure maybe I’m just thinking too hard and I should just let this go. So anyway, after I texted her that, she told me thank you. So we started talking a little and I’m slowly letting go what happened then she got the nerve to text me ” You still going to lend me the money?” In my head I’m like you gotta be fucking serious. I’m like what the hell. I should of cursed her ass out. I responded “I don’t know I will think about”. I didn’t plan on lending her money. I thought about it and  I asked myself, why should I lend her money?

Before I continue with the story, I will briefly explain something real quick so you can understand my though process at this time. I apologize for this long blog, but I am trying hard to break everything down so you can understand this. I am going to be completely honest and this is not easy for me to admit this but I think it’s important for you to know this. When me and this girl got together, this was my first relationship and I was inexperienced in all areas. I repeat, I was inexperienced in all areas. So we got together and I was embarrassed by my inexperience and I felt like I couldn’t keep her with her. I had problems staying hard. Truth was I never admitted to her, but I didn’t know how to put on a condom. So I couldn’t maintain an erection. I was extremely embarrassed. So I decided to go unprotected. Still couldn’t keep it up. This shit was in my head all throughout the day. Since I was inexperienced, I use to compare myself to other guys. I was felt like she was going to leave me because of that.  I went to urologist and he gave me cialis and it worked for me. Since I didn’t know how to put on condoms, I just went unprotected. I got addicted to having sex unprotected and I hated condoms. So anyway there was guy she use to date before me and I thought she still had feelings for him while she was with me. Let’s just say because of my lack of experience was the reason why I felt like she still had feelings for the previous guy before I came into the picture. There’s a lot more to say but I feel like I probably already gave you guys a headache so I will leave it here.

 

So back where I left off with the story,  I was thinking about lending her the money but then I thought to myself, what if the guy had sex with was a from the past? Next day, I texted and first thing I asked her was “If I lend you money, will you promise me to pay me back in December?” She said “Yes” Then I asked her ” Remember when you told me you had sex a month ago, was that guy you had sex with a new guy you just met or a guy from your past?  She said” Someone from the past” When I heard that damn, I can’t describe how painful that felt.  The reason why it felt painful because here I am, nice, respectful gentleman, doing everything in my power to be there for this girl and yet she fucking somebody from the past when she clearly tells me that all the guys from her past were trash. W got into an argument and she told me ” I don’t know why you making a big deal, it’s my life and I wasn’t even dating the guy, it was just a fling thing.” I wanted to punch her in the fucking face.  I can’t lie, I went to the bathroom I called my mom and I was in tears.

 

 

This experience changed me. To this day I haven’t been back to church ever since. I stopped listening to K love, I lost respect for women. I was hurt for months until I went to the strip club and I just started paying for sex. Real talk. Believe it or not , the strip club was my healing factor and I was watching porn like crazy. What happened was strip clubs and porn desensitized my mind. I didn’t trust any girls. I only wanted strippers but I wore a condom though I didn’t smash a stripper raw, I ‘m not that crazy. I realize that strippers make bad decisions but they are friendly people that accept you for who you are. A few of them I was getting to know them and I realized that they have a lot potential to be great. Now some people judge strippers and think they are stupid hoes, let me tell you something, strippers make poor decisions but they are warm hearted people(most not all) trying to earn a living and even though they caught a lot of bodies, they will make sure their clients use to protection because they want to catch nothing. A lot of these girls out here getting pregnant fucking every nigga raw, they ain’t no better than the strippers. But eventually I did get bored with the strip club but it did help me though.  As time move on, I started to talk to other females and I realized I had more in common with other females than my ex.  I realized my ex wasn’t for me. This was all a learning experience and you know what, I thank her for breaking my heart. She taught me a lot and I forgive her now. If we was still together I would eventually been miserable. I accept myself for who I am and that I am just an over thinker. Not giving a fuck healed me. Now if I don’t get hard in the bedroom, I don’t give a fuck, if a girl gets upset and think I’m lame then go fuck another nigga it don’t bother me. I realized that being single was the best decision ever. Someone on twitter use to tweet everyday ” I’m glad that I can wake up and not get cheated on” lol I don’t know why but that’s funny to me. I started saying that lol. Now for women reading this, I know there are some good women out there I know,so I didn’t take my frustration out on all women but some of you are fucked up, just being honest. Another lesson I learn is you can’t always trust a christian that lives by the bible day in and day out(no offensive). Some Christians are good people so I’m not placing all Christians in this category, but be careful because some of them will hurt you in the worst. Some of them will just receive from you and will not give you anything in return. I respect church members and it’s a great honor to see them worship God but the one thing that use to annoy me with them was they are so nosy. Like they would always try everything in their power to  try to get me involved in the church activities , they don’t accept no for an answer. For example, they say, “come to the Friday night service, you said you don’t work on Fridays you not doing nothing so come on down” it’s annoying when they do that because it’s like they trying to trap me into coming but all this does is push me away further and further. Like I said I wasn’t perfect because I broke up with my ex through a text message so I’m not trying to appear innocent.  If you would like to hear more about why I broke up with my ex, through a text message and the events take took place then comment below. If you read this long blog from start to finish appreciate you because this took a lot of thinking to write this. I love relating to people that been heart broken because I know how it feels.   I heard this in church once

 

“We all have gotten hurt by somebody and we all will hurt somebody”

 

A Story About A Couple On Their 5th Date Part 2

I just want to let my followers and others know, that on Monday I will be uploading a poem “How To Please The Ladies”. This poem will demonstrate step by step on how to plan the perfect date for your lady. Be on the look out for that on Monday, November 20th. I just want to thank all my new followers  that followed me  within the last 3 days I want to thank my followers that have been following me since day 1. I wrote this story for you to read and enjoy. I hope you enjoy reading this and I wish everybody a wonderful day.

 

For those of you that haven’t read part 1, please do so. A Story About A Couple On Their 5th Date  , I just added the link please click and read because it was a funny story with a funny twist at the end and part 2 won’t make any sense if you didn’t read part 1. Please read part 1 first.

The following characters in this poem/story/play

NARRATOR: Story Teller

DAVID: 27 year old man, shy but sometimes have slick comments, a gentleman but known to say stupid things from time to time.

STEPHANIE: 25 year old, lovely lady, sweet like a teddy bear, flirtatious, confident, but known to get moody, says what she means.

 

 

Now the story begins

 

SETTING: David’s room

 

NARRATOR:  This picked off where part 1 ended and the setting takes at David’s room and things aren’t looking so good for David. Let’s see if this fool could somehow manage to try and get back on Stephanie’s good side or should I say naughty side.

David: You heard what daddy said, assume the position and bend over and take this ….

Narrator: Stephanie slapped the shit out of David!

Stephanie: What the fuck is wrong with you?
The night was perfect. You got me fucked if you think you deserve this  (Stephanie pointed at her p*ssy)

David: Hey, what the the hell, why you slap me for?

Stephanie: It’s bad enough you talking to me like some type of hoe and you got the nerve to brag about your dick being small?
(Stephanie put her panties on and began to put on the rest of her clothes)
I don’t know what’s going on in your world, but in Stephanie’s world, being stupid will get you dismissed.
So goodbye David, enjoy the rest of your night masturbating your small dick

Narrator: Stephanie heads down the stairs all pissed off and David is just stood there speechless in deep thought.
He was thinking of a way to set the mood right.
He didn’t know what to say but he knew  he had to put up a fight or else Stephanie was going to walk out of his life. Truth is, David is in love with Stephanie.
Let’s see what David can do to convince Stephanie to not leave.

SETTING: Outside the front stoop

David: Wait Stephanie,  Stephanie!

Narrator: As Stephanie walks out the front door,  David grabs her by the arm.

Stephanie: Get off me, let go off my fucking arm!
David: Stephanie please just give me a second to explain, I mean no harm .
STEPHANIE: I have gave you  chances, 3 as of matter of fact and you struck out 3 times.
N*gga bye!

DAVID: Wait Stephanie just give me three minutes so I can explain what I said and why!

NARRATOR: Stephanie rolled her eyes and crosses her arms looking all stern

DAVID: Look I get it, what I said was lame
but being lame was not part of the
game.
Now I am here in shame
but I just want to be
on the hall of fame
so let me explain.
No matter what shape or
or size you are, you should
feel confident in your skin
You still feel like a beautiful
woman , no matter what.
Size is appealing, but yet can be
deceiving.
It’s not how much you got
it’s being grateful for what you got
and knowing how to use what you got.
America fought a  two front war.
They had to fight two enemies,
but yet still took victory
because their weapons were nuclear
and they knew when and were to
use it.
The beat of a song is attractive,
but what makes the music beauitful
are the lyrcis
I know I sound delirious,
but I do have a good intentions.
Unlike those other n*ggas,
I am serious and ,
I do  want commitment.
I don’t spoil you with bullshit
compliments.
My plan is to show you that
I am a man that’s completely honest
Your very attractive,
and your personality is drop dead-
gorgeous
Our chemistry is happy and harmonious
like a church choir.
I’m not liar, so your physical appearance,
well your beautiful, that’s appearant.
Your personality is flawless,
the bad girl type but appear
so innocent.
Smile is so beautiful wanna thank
your dentist.
I like you for who you are
not for what you got.
So try looking at me the
same way I look at you.
Don’t focus on the size
of my cock,
but it’s on me as well
to not bring it up.
Maybe sex is too early
on the 5th date,
so why don’t we wait
and take Steve Harvey’s advice,
so what do you say?

NARRATOR: Stephanie is just beyond speechless, confused beyond the limit. She just  went with what  her emotions told her and kissed David aggressively for a couple of seconds but then realized that she had to go.

STEPHANIE: I got to go David, I just gotta go!

DAVID: Wait Stephanie, Stephanie!

NARRATOR: Stephanie hops in the car and drives away. David just looks with a calm, steady  gaze. He heads back in the house and lay on the living room couch.
He was starting to feel sleepy. Just when he was about to fall asleep, he received a call from Stephanie and he answers

DAVID: Yeah wassup?

STEPHANIE: Yeah think I left my earrings can you check….. wait hold up

NARRATOR:  Stephanie puts the phone down for a moment. She saw the cops driving by and she didn’t want to get a ticket.  Few seconds later she goes back on the phone

STEPHANIE: Sorry about that David, the cops were around me,but yeah can you check your room please for my earrings?

DAVID: Yeah, they right here!

STEPHANIE: Alright I’m coming back to get them.
I text you when I’m in front of your house. Be there in like 2 min.

DAVID: Alright I’ll be waiting.

Side Note: I have two different ways to end part 2. I couldn’t choose so I wrote both endings

 This is ending number 1

NARRATOR: About 1 minute later somebody knocks on the door.
David assumed it was Stephanie  when he opened door but it wasn’t Stephanie at the door.
As soon as David opens the door, he get knocked out and  pistol whipped.

   This was ending number 1

 

This is ending number 2

NARRATOR: About one minute later David heard someone knocking  hard on the  door.
David assumed it was Stephanie when he opened the door but it wasn’t  Stephanie. It was the police. David looks  so confused right now

DAVID: Hi, can I help you?

POLICE: David, you are under arrest for the crime of rape of Lauren Brown.
(Officer place handcuffs on David)
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?

DAVID: Officer there must be a mistake. I don’t know any Lauren!

POLICE: Tell it to the judge

 

 

 

Please comment below and tell me which ending do you like better.  Part 3 will be a prequel to part 1. Part 3 will make sense of everything and there will be a background story in part 3. Part 3 won’t be uploaded until sometime in January

 

A Story About A Couple On Their 5th Date

The following characters in this poem/story/play

NARRATOR: Story Teller 

DAVID: 27 year old man, shy but sometimes have slick comments, a gentleman but known to say stupid things from time to time.

STEPAHNIE: 25 Years old, lovely lady, sweet like a teddy bear, flitarious, confident, but known to get moody, says what she means.

WAITER : An old man looking for a paycheck every week 

              Now the story begins

NARRATOR : David and Stephanie met online on Plenty of fish.  One day David decided to ask Stephanie out on a date to see where things lead. The first date, the chemistry was instant. They have been kicking it ever since.  David took Stephanie to Peter Luger to really impress her tonight and this is their 5th date. Well let’s tune in to see how their night is coming along

SETTING: Peter Luger

STEPHANIE:   I can’t finish my steak I’m so full but I see you didn’t leave a crumb on your plate.

DAVID:  Well you know I love the taste of a big juicy ass steak. The meat is well done, the sauce just creates a taste in your mouth
and I circle it in my mouth like mouth wash
(Then David looked at his watch)
Damn it’s after 10:00,  my belly about to pop lol.

STEPHANIE: Well you did have a big steak, but don’t worry, your still handsome and in great shape. I need to get back in shape. I’m trying to loose weight. I wanna look how I use to in 2013. You know, David I wouldn’t mind you training me ☺

DAVID: Damn Stephanie, you wouldn’t be able to keep up with me. I’m gonna have you lift weights and turn you into a body building machine. You gonna be looking like Stanley Tookie. Give you the type of treatment like you a rookie on the football team

STEPHANIE: Babe no, I don’t wanna look like a man. I’m a woman. I’m trying to loose weight so I can go back to my old shape. I want my curves to be exposed and I wanna lose my stomach fat. So I’m thinking about doing squats to workout my legs and ass. Lol I see you smiling when I mentioned ass. Damn you so bad.

DAVID: Lol oh nah, I was smiling becuase you sound so movatived. I respect your courage and motivation. Maybe I should have you work out in my basement.  Besides I already love the shape of your ass.  I’m always looking at it when you walk right pass.

(The waiter brought the tab)

Waiter: Would you like any desert?

DAVID: No sir, what about you Stephanie?

STEPHANIE: I’m good thank you honey!

Narrator: David started  blushing because he don’t liked to be called any type of pet name. To him it’s embrassing. So now David pays the tab then him and Stephanie leave the restaurant and they are headed to David’s house.

SETTING: David’s house

DAVID: Just make sure you lock the door behind you.
Take a seat on the couch I have to go to the bathroom real quick

STEPHANIE: Alright make sure you back in a minute Mr. I’m timing you since you said real quick.

NARRATOR: David went to the bathroom to shave real quick.
He took a razor to trim his pubic hair real quick. Then he sprayed some axe around his dick. He wanted to go over and beyond to impress his chick.

DAVID: Yeah I’m definitly feeling it

STEPHANIE: Don’t tell me you already feeling sleepy?

DAVID: Lol, well just a little.

NARRATOR : David went to sit next to Stephanie and she went under his armpits and began to tickle.

DAVID: Lol, ha ha hey what the hell why you ticking me you know I’m ticklish?

STEPHANIE: Oh really babe, I didn’t do anything, I didn’t know you was ticklish.

DAVID: Lol, cut the shit!

STEPHANIE: You have 10 seconds to make me!

NARRATOR: David starts to feel neverous. He’s always been generous but he is 90% confident
that Stephanie wanted to  have sex. He is scratching his head and thinking of a way to get  her to his bed. David just decided to go with the flow and let whatever happens, happen.
So he held Stephanie’ s face in his big hands and he kissed her. She kissed him back and the kissing was passionate. David felt so  fortunate and his erection was obvious poking through his sweat pants. Stephanie too was wet and David noticed as slowly moved his hands inside her leggings. The vagina was wet and he began caressing. Rubbing her clit and she is moaning. They are both extremely horny. Let’s see what  happens next

DAVID: Let’s go upstairs!

STEPHANIE: Yes let’s go already

(David picks her up and carries her upstairs.)

SETTING: David’s bedroom

NARRATOR: David places Stephanie on the edge off the bed. Stephanie reached for his zipper and pulled his dick out  and she can’t wait to put it in her mouth. She slowly jerks him off for a few seconds with her left hand to make him hard to the maximum capacity.  David has a smile on his face and he is happy. Stephanie began to suck aggressively.

DAVID : Oh shit, fuck suck this dick Stephanie!

STEPHANIE: You like that shit daddy?

DAVID: Oh yeah, u sucking the shit out of my dick

STEPHANIE: This is my dick daddy this belongs to me. Now I want you destroy this tight pussy

NARRATOR: David walks to the dresser and grabs the condom. He rolls it on his dick and then slowly insert his dick inside the vagina and begin to penerate.

DAVID: Oh shit, yeah uh uh uh oh shit yeah

STEPHANIE: Yeah papi take charge of this pussy daddy.

DAVID: Who pussy is this?

STEPHANIE: This your pussy Papi!

DAVID: Yeah that’s right, I own this pussy

STEPAHNIE: Yeeessssssss you doooooooo daddy yoouu own this shiiitttttt!

DAVID: SAY YOU LOVE THIS SMALL DADDY DICK!

NARRATOR: Stephanie didn’t respond she pretend she didn’t hear him so David repeated  himself.

DAVID: I said SAY YOU LOVE THIS  SMALL DADDY DICK. DON’T MAKE DADDY REPEAT HIMSELF

STEPHANIE: MUTHFUCKA WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

                      To be continued.

 If you was David, how would you redeem yourself? What would you say to set the mood right again or do you think David messed up too bad and Stephanie should cut his dumb ass off?

 
  

Night Before Wedding(In the home girl point of view)

This is part 2 to the story/poem Night Before My Wedding. Please read part 1, before reading part 2. Originally I didn’t plan on writing a series to this poem but one of my followers gave me the encouragement and motivation to write a part 2. I won’t mentioned her name, but if you are reading this, I just want to thank you for your comment on “Night Before My Wedding” blog because it gave me motivation to write a part 2.

Most likely I will write a part 3 and a part 4 but that will take some time because writing a story in poem format is time consuming and it’s a lot of thinking involved. If any of you are interested in reading drama stories, a while ago when I first started blogging,  I wrote 2 stories “Don’t Tell A Soul” and” Hit List”. If you want to read those stories as well, here are the links below

Don’t Tell A Soul(Chapter 1)      

Don’t Tell A Soul(Part 2)   

Don’t Tell A Soul Part 3

Hit List

Hit List (part 2)

I want to thank all my followers that been following me, it’s a blessing and I wish all of you the best and I hope each of you will accomplish your goals and I hope your blogging to will open doors for you. I hope everyone reading this will enjoy reading this poem.

 

I’m confused and lost in this world.
Always had dreams of being his girl.
But unfortunately he’s taken by another girl.
On the inside I am dying and I started crying.
Every night I been crying myself to sleep
for a year straight.
From the moment he told me he was engaged,
my heart was cut in half, like a knife to a steak.
I wanted to kill his girlfriend and take her place,
but I blame myself for feeling this way.
I remember when I first laid eyes on him, I was only 11.
I was in church and as usual dozing off during the service.
The evangelist asked “Are there any visitors?”
Then I saw him stand up with his mother
and he had a serious face expression just like his mother.
He looked just like mother.
I was curious wondering, where was his father?
So as service continued, I kept staring back at him.
I thought he had gorgeous eyes and cute dimples on his chin.
As I kept staring at him, my mother kept tapping me by the shoulder telling me to  pay attention.
Soon or later, the service finally ended.
So as usual my mother chats up a storm with all the members.
I watched some of the members welcomed him and his mother.
For some reason I just couldn’t stop staring at him.
I’m usually shy but I wanted to get to know him.
So I keep staring at him, then suddenly he looks up and stares back.
Then all of a sudden, I wake up realizing I am dreaming again,
thinking about the past again remembering
when I first laid eyes on him.
I was  born and raised as a Christian
and if I was his wife, I would be submissive
and let him be the head of the household.
I fear I will grow old and alone.
Lack of sex have me feel lonely and moody.
Upset that I don’t have a man pleasing me.
What makes it worst is my sister just texted me this nonsense

It’s the middle of the night and my period just came.
All of a sudden it begins to rain.
I’m so moody and horny and I wish he was on me, sexing me.
I can’t go back to sleep so I’m going to
watch this porno movie,
to imagine that it’s him and me fucking.
When I imaging sexing him,
I like to start from the beginning
like the porno movie.
I picture myself as a housewife
and he is the plumber.
He knocks at my door
and I’m wearing shorts
and light blue blouse.
He says “How you doing?”
I say “Come on in”
We are just staring at each other in silence.
I said fuck it and just paused the porno movie
because it’s too much talking going on.
So I just play music from phone “112 ft Lil
Zane – Anywhere” and imagine him doing me anywhere.
Doing me in car, shower, top of the stairs.
I’m fingering myself to death
when I imagine jerking him off with my left.
I’m fingering myself to death
when I imagine sucking him off until he nuts
and I swallow until there’s no ounce of sperm left.
I’m fingering myself to death
when I imagine myself riding him until he gives me a creampie and he’s has no ounce of sperm left.
I’m fingering myself to death
when I imagine myself telling him I’m Pregnant
and he beats up this pregnancy pussy until we both don’t have any energy left.
I really began to sweat and I feel like I am getting to climax.
I scream really loud like I found my wallet from the lost and found.
But I think to myself what once was lost, can still be found.
So I decided to text him now.
I texted him,
“Follow where your heart takes you and you will forever be happy.”
I just know for a fact he has feelings for me.
Just the way he looks at me and speaks to me,
especially lately.
For the past 2 weeks he been texting me, constantly telling me how he appreciates me.
Earlier at the wedding rehearsal, I said to him
“I never seen you so happy”
He looked at me with a serious blank face expression on his face.
He said” Thanks” with no enthusiasm.
Then surprisingly gave me a kiss on the cheek
and hugged me tightly.
He placed his hands on my lower back and he started to go lower close to my ass but he just stopped.
Can’t lie he go me wet, I wanted to take him to the parking lot.
I started to repeat to myself “What once was lost can be found”.
Should I follow my heart and see what I can find ?
Scratch that should I follow my heart and see what I will find? I think its time for me to get my man.